FEAR OF FAILURE AND HOW IT CAN STOP YOU LIVING YOUR DREAMS

Brave, reckless, inspirational. Irresponsible parents, courageous, nut jobs. Dreamers, bloody hippies, failures. Just a bunch of the adjectives that have been thrown our way via social media, dm’s or directly to our faces from loved ones. All of them make us feel uncomfortable.


The universe has plans for us all. I truly believe that fate or destiny, whatever you want to call it, life? It will send obstacles and opportunities for you to grapple with. Life brought us back to the UK from Borneo, and life has brought us to the point we are at now. In Lincoln, the very place we wanted to escape from. There are many reasons we have decided that we need to settle, for now, travelling in short bursts rather than full time.

The main reason being, the girls. We always give the girls an equal part in our decision making and choices, we want them to actively participate in their life choices. Snuggled in Wanda one hot summer night, listening to the rain clatter on the tin roof we had a family heart to heart. Bonnie has expressed a desire to join a dance school. Something we cannot do on the road. We would never want to feel like we are stifling their opportunities. Ava is a wildling and wanted to continue travelling but is missing her own space.

So we’ve compromised. We have this week secured a home in Lincoln, and we will keep Wanda for adventures each weekend and holidays.

A big driver in this decision is our desire to live a more low impact, zero waste lifestyle. This is incredibly hard to do whilst travelling full time. We have also made the decision not to fly unless we absolutely have to in order to be as carbon neutral as possible.

Will and I would travel forever, but living out of our savings is tricky and isn’t going to sustain us for much longer. So whilst back in Lincoln, we are going to focus on building up our earnings. It has taken us to reach the grand old age of 31, sell everything and travel to finally decide what it is we want to do to earn a crust and pay the bills!

The old adage of “do what you love” has been the driving force in our decision making regarding career choices. Still firmly rooted in our beliefs that you should live your life in a place of joy, spending your precious time working on your passions.

These passions feature heavily in our future work plans.

When we started this journey it was to find out what was missing. Why were we so unhappy in our rather comfortable lives? Why did we feel suffocated by the amount of stuff we owned? What made us feel stifled and trapped enough that we would sell our home, all of our belongings and the security that they bring? Truthfully, we still don’t have the answers. I’m not sure we’ll ever truly feel settled, but we’re doing what we always do and going with our guts. Letting our hearts lead and here is where we are at right now.

We still have big dreams (our biggest being that we can save our beautiful planet so our girls have a future) and these are at the forefront of our minds.

Is Lincoln our forever home? Probably not, but it’s a good place to regroup, replan and start over.

We always had a Plan B in case things went tits up, I was just hoping we never had to use it.

There have been some uncomfortable “I told you it wouldn’t work” moments in the last week. We’ve struggled with those feelings of failure. Then a lovely friend sent us ‘The Man in the Arena’ quote by Teddy Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

This quote buoyed us up at a point where we were sinking. Our friends are so right. We haven’t failed at anything.

How many people hate their jobs, yet stay because they fear the unknown? How many people feel consumed by clutter and pressurised into buying stuff and “keeping up”? How many people long to travel, or run a marathon, or write a book? How many people dream but choose not to do? Stopping themselves because they’re terrified of the unknown, terrified of failing.

We didn’t fail. We quit jobs that were making us miserable, we made our dreams come true, we grew closer as a family, we minimalised our lives, we prioritised memories over things, we pushed ourselves to smash personal goals. That is not failure!

The outcome is different from how we imagined it, but look at what we have learned along the way.

Someone asked us if we regret selling up. No, no we don’t. We’re different people now, with different priorities. Changed, grown. We have new dreams now, and they are just as exciting.

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