Travel isn’t all it’s hyped it up to be, especially when you’re travelling with kids. The glamorous, euphoric moments are few and far between compared to the brutal reality of full-time travel. Some bits were pretty bloody awful, yet we still cherish every single second, these testing situations showed us how strong we are and how well we can handle the pressure. We actually sit and belly laugh about them now.

When I say awful, I’m not talking about the multiple times the kids fell over, or the many, many times we reduced each other to tears (spending every waking minute with people has that affect roughly once a month). I’m talking about the hardest times, the most embarrassing moments of our travels. There were so many I’ve had to make this post a two-parter!


Hope you’re ready for some major oversharing…
-Bonnie having a major meltdown at midnight on our first night – I blame jetlag – she was so loud we were worried that the hotel would ask us to leave.

-Daddy getting stung by a jellyfish in Dubai. It was only a little one, and no we didn’t have to pee on it.

-Seeing some mauled dead dogs on the side of the road in New Delhi.

-A woman dumping her baby in Ava’s arms so she could take pictures of the girls. Poor Ava was so confused and couldn’t move or she’d have dropped the baby.

-Not anticipating how cold it got at night in Agra. We actually slept in all the clothes we own.

-In Agra and Goa we only had 1 bucket of hot water a day for all of us to wash with. God bless headscarves to hide my greasy locks.

-Will getting irate because a man demanded we pay him 500 rupees for putting biscuits in the girls hands to feed chipmunks. We thought he was just being kind.

-Driving to Jaipur from Agra in the thickest fog on crazy roads next to rivers because our train was cancelled. It was the most terrifying experience.

-I ate a coconut ice cream in Jaipur and discovered half way through that there was a manky frozen chip in the middle. I spent the next week nursing the worst food poisoning of my life.

-This included an embarrassing incident in Goa. Let’s just say it was more than a fart and luckily I was swimming in the ocean at the time.

-The waves in Goa were massive. We were wiped out many, many times. The worst of which (and Bonnie’s last swim in Goa) resulted in the Bonnie being ripped from my arms and pushed under for what felt like a lifetime and me losing my bikini bottoms around my ankles in front of the whole beach.

-In Port Blair we stayed in the dingiest hotel; I found cockroaches under the mattress. We had no option but to suck it up for the night. I didn’t sleep!

-Disembarking the ferry in the Andaman Islands was a rather frightening experience. The jetty is only half built and the width of a footpath, with no barriers either side. Trying the navigate the jetty in 34 degree heat, carrying a 30 kilo bag, whilst making sure the passengers walking the opposite way to get on the ferry didn’t push the girls off the edge. Yea, that was pretty stressful.

-On the flight back to mainland India one member of our family (who wishes to remain anonymous) pooped their pants just as the flight was landing. Rendering them unable to leave their seat until the fasten seatbelt signs had been switched off. I think they’re brave letting me share this story (haha). Don’t you just love Indian food! #delhibelly

-In Chennai we stayed in the most random Air BnB. We were the only people staying in the 10 storey block. Ours was the only apartment with furniture, and the only other person around was the night guard who slept on a mattress in the car park. One night Will got off the lift on the wrong floor and walked into a completely empty apartment. It was proper creepy, I slept with one eye open at all times.

-Our first day in Sri Lanka will forever be tainted by the fake Air BnB incident. 2 hours were spent sitting in a supermarket car park trying to sort it out.

-Ava’s flip flop fell off once as she was getting on a train. Will had to jump down and crawl under the train to get it as this was her only pair of shoes and she was pretty attached to them.

-The toilets on Sri Lankan trains are basically a large hole in the floor and you do your biz straight down onto the tracks as the train is moving. Bonnie nearly fell through bum first on a particularly rocky journey, Will just managed to grab her by her t-shirt.

-On another train journey it was so hot and crowded. We were literally being crushed. So we spent the whole 3 hour journey sat on our bags in the clean (because no one uses that one) western toilet. It wasn’t all bad we had our own window, cold water and more space than anyone else on the train.

-In Ella daddy got leeches on his legs and provoked a venomous Sri Lankan funnel web spider with a stick because he wanted a picture.

-We also had a massive family row half way up Little Adams Peak and spent half an hour sat on a step crying into each others arms.

-Everywhere William ran in Asia he was chased by a pack of wild dogs. Luckily he was never bitten. He also once encountered a baby Sri Lankan pit viper whilst out on a run. A nice Sri Lankan man batted it out of the way with a sweeping brush.

-Ava took her Spinosaurus up Sigiriya Rock. On the way back down I had to hide it up my top as the naughty Macaques tried to attack it (and her) thinking it was a lizard.

-I once had to sit and listen to men ridiculing my bras and lacy pants whilst waiting for the laundry to be folded up. They were still giggling as they handed me the bag. I did my own laundry after that.

-Ants were everywhere. In Galle thousands of ants managed to get into the fridge. I tipped some cereal in a bowl and ants came out, it was gross.

-Tuk Tuk wars is an actual thing in Kandy. Unfortunately, Uber is cheaper and the Tuk Tuk drivers rip you off. They got quite aggressive with William if they saw him using the Uber app and would tell us to move elsewhere. A few times the Uber drivers had to drop us a couple of streets away from where we wanted to be as the Tuk Tuk drivers trash their cars.

-In Mirissa William stood on a sea urchin, it was nasty.

-Our safari jeep nearly tipped over next to a lake full of crocodiles when it was trying to get out of the patch of mud we were stuck in.

Travel is exhausting, you smell pretty bad most of the time and have some horribly embarrassing mishaps. You can read more in part 2 here.

Travelling with kids isn’t ever going to look like those polished squares of perfection you see online, but it’s pretty perfect to us.

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